Well that may be a bit of an exaggeration, this may not technically be “The Best” piece of advice I have EVER received in my entire life…but it sure did wonders for my marriage and therefore I just have to share it with you.
In our first years of marriage, Rodney and I fought A LOT. Since we were both strong willed and neither of us ever want to be wrong, we often found ourself in a heated discussion which ended in both of us mad and/or with hurt feelings. This tidbit of information really helped defuse countless misunderstandings and miscommunications which in turn helped eliminate tons of arguments between us.
If you are like me, I once saw every difference as an opportunity to “state my case” and “prove” my side of the story. Like a carefully crafted lawyer, I had all of my points outlined & I was ready to attack. Unfortunately the more I pleaded and debated the more obstinate we both became. It wasn’t until I learned to keep my mouth shut that our situation began to change.
The Best Advice that I have received is taken from Exodus 14:14 which states, “The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” The practical explanation of the verse goes like this…In an arguement, if you are talking and pleading your case, the other person is listening to you and trying to come up with a rebuttal. However, when you are silent, they can can hear The Lord.
An amazing thing happens when The Lord fights your battles for you. He manages to take a potentially explosive situation and defuses it before it has a chance to escalate.
I wish I could tell you that now days Rodney and I never argue. But that would be far from the truth. Like any couple, we have our share of disagreements and misunderstandings. The difference is that now we manage to show a little more restraint than we did in earlier years and therefore allow The Lord to fight FOR us instead of us fighting AGAINST each other.
Although it takes a bit of self-control, learning to keep our mouths shut and allow God to fight for us has been one of the best things we could ever do for our marriage.
Give it a try and see what an amazing difference it makes in your relationships.