You get the censored version of my life. Oh there are things I force myself to share openly and other things I keep to myself. Some parts of missionary life are just to difficult to share with anyone who has not experienced them. They seem to me like a heavy weight. So I talk freely with friends who similarly struggle and I put on a smile for you. The problem is, I’ve never been good at wearing masks. My face betrays me every time!
This week I’m restless. I just returned from Mexico. I know the games that they play in the culture, and I’m uneasy. I keep telling myself to not worry and to present my requests to God. I know the drill. But sometimes scripture is easier said than done. And taking my thoughts captive, at times is like trying to restrain the wind…impossible.
Lord, help me as I wrestle with these thoughts and feelings, emotions that only you truly understand. Help me to overcome these concerns and give them to you to carry, for they are too heavy for my heart.