Returning to the mountains of Mexico after being away always reeks havoc with my pain sensors. I’m not sure why I forget this, but every time I return home after being in lower altitudes it takes me about a week or two to acclimate. My skin and muscles feel like they are on fire and there is no escape. Sometimes the pain is so loud that I can’t hear myself think. That’s how life is when you battle fibromyalgia.
Your days are filled with unpredictable pain of various types and intensities which lasting for an undetermined amount of time. Sometimes it’s a low dull pain that you hardly notice. Well, you barely notice it until all is quiet, like when you lie down at night. At other times it’s a pain so intense that you can not function. And yet other times it’s like a fire shut up inside of you.
In the height of my experience with Fibro, I would wake up at night from the pain. Every part of my body that touched the mattress felt like pins and needles were poking into me, especially my ears. There are still moments that the pain is so intense that it wakes me. Tonight, is one of those times.
I don’t think the prophet Ezekiel had fibromyalgia but he described the feeling well when he was talking about trying not to talk about God. He described it like a fire shut up in his bones. (Jeremiah 20:9 NIV)
I suspect that the fire shut up inside his bones was a little bit more spiritual than mine. But my fire serves a spiritual purpose too. It reminds me that I am mere flesh and blood. It reminds me that I am fragility and that I need God.
The Psalmist said, “For he knows we are but dust and that our days are few and brief, like grass, like flowers, blown by the wind and gone forever.”
Psalm 103:14-16 Living Bible (TLB)
One day my body will turn back to dust and I will get an upgrade. My new body will no longer be problematic or painful and when that happens I will live in high altitude comfortably. Until then, I’ll let this burning sensation serve as a reminder for me to put my hope and trust in God.