The Refiner’s Fire: Beauty from Ashes

Lately I’ve been experiencing a different kind of Refiner’s Fire. Its the sound of a beating drum and it is exhausting. For five days now I have felt as if my head is submerged in water. My ears are stopped up and nothing I do makes them better. I am tired of hearing the echoing of my rhythmic heart pounding in my left ear. Yet I am profoundly grateful that my heart is beating and my ears can hear, even if the sounds from without are muffled and the sounds from within are magnified.
There is a dull pain that makes a cross shape, on my forehead, shooting in my eyes and down my nose. I know it will be a while before this pain subsides, but the ache is persistent and also wearing on me. My teeth hurt, the top ones, nearest the surgery. Oh how I desire to feel better.
I am recovering from sinus surgery and I don’t heal quickly. This is the part of recovery that is most taxing, remaining patient when my mind is ready to get up and go, but my body is healing at a turtles pace. I can’t escape the pain and I so want to feel better. It’s not particularly an excruciating pain, just dull and persistent.
Why I heal so slowly, I do not know. Perhaps to teach me patience. Perhaps to remind me that I am not in control of everything or that the world doesn’t revolve on my time table. Perhaps it’s to help me be more sympathetic to those who are sick, frustrated or hurting. I’m not sure the reason, but I do know that this is just part of it. We have our good moments and our bad. Those moments which are enjoyable and those we would rather not experience all make up a part of this thing called life. And the Apostle Paul reminds us in the book of Romans, “…we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) And to those who mourn, we are reminded in Isaiah that God can make beauty from the ashes of our difficult circumstances. (Isaiah 61:3)
What fire are you experiencing that you need to trust God with today?

One thought on “The Refiner’s Fire: Beauty from Ashes

  1. debeesonblog says:

    Ya, pain. Hopefully, 24 days later, this pain is a thing of the past. We are praying for you, Kina, and your surgery. Especially with Resurrection Day coming on and music events planned comma we know you are hoping to be 100%. At least 90%?
    The pain of shingles has been “awful”… need I say? The first two days I found myself thinking of Job a lot. I asked myself what was his pain like? It seems his was all over his body! The stores were open so, if it was something like shingles, it had gone to the most stage. Next two days I thought about people around the world — some of them my brothers and sisters in Christ, suffering pain, suffering hunger and on top of all that, persecution for their faith in Jesus. My heart went out to them and it caused me to pray.

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