Strength & Vulnerability

A friend of mine is an amazing writer. He just has a way with words. After reading his work, I find myself comtemplating life. I begin to ask myself questions like, “Am I deliberate enough in how I choose to live? Do I make choices which keep life easy or ones which force me to experience life more fully? Do I just go through the motions or am I really living?”
I asked him recently if he was still blogging. And if so, why I had not read anything from him in a while. Written within his response was this sentence.
“I find it difficult to muster the strength & vulnerability to write.”
That statement has given me a lot to think about lately… fact, it echoes within my mind. After much contemplation I realized that perhaps lack of strength and vulnerability is the real reason I find blogging difficult.
For me, writing is a way to process. It helps me fine tune feelings which are jumbled inside of me. I am not quick on my feet, like some people; instead I process better when given time. I write and read and re-read and write some more and tweek all along the way. At the end of a piece, I discover that I have uncovered what at first I could not put into words.
So, I’ve been mulling over the phrase, strength and vulnerability. I realize that the writing which flows from me, often bottle necks just before publishing. The strength and vuneralibility required to click the “post” button on my blog, often overwhelms me and inhibits me from allowing you into my world. At times I’d prefer just to keep my thoughts confidential.
Yet life and any true relationship requires vuneralibility. So I continue to mentally chew on the idea of finding strength and vulnerability to write…to publish. It begs the question, “Am I willing to lay down my pride and be real with those around me?”
Venerability requires me to open myself to those around me; to family and friends. It urges me to remove the mask which I so easily hide behind and become real with myself and others.
I wonder what life would be like, if we all had a little more strength to be vulnerable?

3 thoughts on “Strength & Vulnerability

  1. Nicole says:

    Well written sis! I love reading your words of wisdom and descriptions of life as you know it! I love you dearly my precious friend!

  2. Lucinda says:

    I shared this posting with a dear friend. Her response:
    “This is beautifully written.
    Strength to be vulnerable….
    Interesting concept.
    Are we prideful if we are not that open with our fellowman?”

    • kinadutro says:

      Perhaps not! In my case, I think a percentage of pride may interfere with my willingness to be transparent with others. (And when I say pride, I refer to caring too much about others opinions of me, or my writing.) And yet there is another side which is not influenced by pride, namely privacy. For me I believe there are levels of transparency which are appropriate depending on each relationship. In fact I am currently working on a piece which focuses on healthy ambiguity in writing and publishing. Something I do not count as prideful, but rather essential.

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